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Author Topic: Detective Ford  (Read 963 times)

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Luckys Lover

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Detective Ford
« on: July 29, 2008, 01:24:35 PM »

I know you don't interact with the driving idiots much but I thought you'd like these to pass around at the office.

16 top quotes from police videos.

16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

11 "You don 't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

7 "Fair, You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

4 "How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

2 "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours...so you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS...

1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here
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If stupidity got us into this mess, why can stupidity get us out of it? Will Rogers
I don't care what other people think. They don't do it very often!
Of Course it's dirty. It's hard to clean when the tires keep moving.

forevrtxan

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Re: Detective Ford
« Reply #1 on: July 30, 2008, 10:16:00 AM »

 O0 O0 ;D ;D O0 O0
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David

'05 1800R2 (with sidestand down)

Old enuff to know better....but young enuff to still do it!!!!!!

Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway~~John Wayne

All the way up in there!!!! (Quote from VTreX at BBTIII)

hipshot

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Re: Detective Ford
« Reply #2 on: July 30, 2008, 11:07:07 AM »

I've always wanted to use #1, but never quite worked up the guts.
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02 1800C

Morgan Buchanan

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Re: Detective Ford
« Reply #3 on: July 31, 2008, 06:16:16 AM »

I'd imagine it'd be fun, but I'm at least fairly certain it would result in a complaint of some kind.  LOL
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