Rumors didn't let America down: Paris Hilton did make an appearance on Saturday Night Live last night. Dressed in a sharp, slightly sexy (but, let's face it, extremely demure for her), Paris Hilton appeared polite, a little nervous, but overall funny in a classic double entendre exchange with Jimmy Fallon during Weekend Update. Kudos, SNL writers and talent bookers, job well done. Here is the unofficial Gothamist transcript:
Tina Fey: Paris Hilton is a name that's on everyone's lips these days. Here now in an exclusive interview with Jimmy Fallon in Paris Hilton.
Jimmy Fallon: Thanks for coming on.
Paris Hilton: Nice to be here.
JF: So, we agreed, we won't be discussing the scandal that's been in the papers the past couple weeks.
PH: I appreciate that.
JF: We want to find about you, Paris Hilton. Your family...the Hiltons own hotels all around the world.
PH: Yes, in New York, London, Paris.
JF: Wait, there actually is a Paris Hilton?
PH: Yes, there is.
JF: Is it hard to get into the Paris Hilton?
PH: Actually, it's a very exclusive hotel, no matter what you've heard.
JF: I hear the Paris Hilton is very beautiful.
PH: I'm glad that you've heard that.
JF: Is there double occupancy at the Paris Hilton?
PH: No.
JF: Is the Paris Hilton very roomy?
PH: It might be for you. But most people find it very comfortable.
JF: I'm a VIP, I might need to go through the back entrance.
PH: Doesn't matter who are you – it's not going to happen.
JF: Fair enough, okay. I throw a lot of events. Do they have ballrooms there?
PH: We do.
JF: Great, I'd love to have my balls held by the Paris Hilton. Sounds awesome. I'd like to check into the Paris Hilton.
PH: I don't think you can.
JF: Really? I'd only be able to stay there a minute and a half...two minutes, tops.
PH: Good luck.
JF: Paris Hilton!
