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[hipshot]

I borrowed this off another site; thought y'all might enjoy it:


The family and I had just sat down to our evening meal when the phone rang. Figuring that only the job would call me at that time, I answered the phone, anticipating a callout.An unfamiliar voice asked, "Is this Karl Brummer?" Since my name doesn't sound anything like Karl Brummer, I asked who was calling. The voice replied that he was with the Rubber Band Powered Freezer Company, or something like that. I then asked him if he knew Karl Brummer personally, and why he was calling. Before the voice could reply I said, off to the side, "get some pictures of the body at various angles, and some good closeups of the blood spatter." I then turned back to the phone and informed the voice that he had entered a crime scene and could not hang up the phone; the call was being traced and he would be receiving a visit from one of our investigators shortly. I then questioned the voice in great detail about his name, address, employment, relationship with the dead guy, and where he had been for the past hour. I then told him that I didn't believe a word he was saying, and that we had located his office and the tactical team was on its way upstairs to take him into custody. I heard a panicked moan and the phone went dead.

As I returned to the table the wife asked why I had tears on my face. It took fifteen minutes to get the story out. My meal was cold, but it was GREAT!!

[sherri]

lol

sherri

[HeadGuess]

I'm going to try that one.

When I was a kid some girl called my house (wrong number) and asked for Paul. After about the third time she called I asked her name she gave it to me and I said he told me if you called he was with some other chick I don't remember any of their names, but I sure would have hated to be Paul the next time she seen him.

[quietguy]

LOL@dead phone... cute

[hipshot]

As I explained in another post, I'm spending a nostalgic afternoon (translation: can't go for a ride) sipping bourbon (on the sixth one; finally got a weekend I'm not on call, that's why I'm sipping heavily, and the heavy sipping is why I'm not riding), going through old threads. This one brought back memories of a phone call I received shortly after I moved to the Houston area, a few months after I got back from RVN (that'll date it for you old farts; if you're too young to know what RVN means, vote for Hitlery). I was actually in my bed asleep; I was working an 8 on/8 off on-call schedule for the railroad, and had to answer the phone if it rang.

 It rang.

 I answered.

 A giggly, juvenile, female-sounding voice (back in those days I was not wise to the ways of the world, and I did not have an unpublished telephone number) asked if my refrigerator was running.

For some reason totally beyond my comprehension, I had an epiphany. I can offer no explanation for this epiphany, and it is certainly not consistent with my slow to no-witted character.  Folks who know me will tell you that I think in reverse; the longer ago the event was the clearer my recollection (hint: see statute of limitations) . If it happened this week I ain't got a clue what you're talking about; I wasn't there and I don't own a gun in that caliber.
 
Anyway, the giggly little woofie (if any of you female members are offended by the word woofie, I'm sorry that you feel that way. While I acknowledge that the term woofie may certainly be interpreted as a derogatory reference to the female gender by politically correct and/or gender-specifically sensitive females, I reserve the right to utilize the word in the context in which I believe the word was originally conceived, which is the context in which this old fart is familiar) asked if my refrigerator was running. Naturally, that's when the epiphany occured.

I told her, "Yes."

She replied (hysterically laughing), "Ya better go catch it!!!"

I waited until the hysterics subsided, and said. "I can't; I lost both legs in Viet Nam."

Now I don't know if this woofie (sorry, ladies) actually believed me, or if a snappy and contrary reply just threw her (and I suppose that I should interject here that I'm not implying that females are incapable of discerning the truth, or are easily confused by the truth), but there was a long, pregnant silence (once again, ladies [or if there's a term that's politically more correct than ladies] I apologize if the terminology is not current) was in a chemically altered state of consciousness or not, but after the long, pregnant (again, I'm not mocking motherhood, but the words I chose, within the context I have chosen, have been universally accepted [until recently, anyway], as describing an apprehensive delay in response to an interrogatory statement. Anyway, after a several-second silence, she hung up.


The preceding story is true. No innocent animals or undocumented workers ( illegal aliens, to Texans) were harmed, killed, tortured, or unlawfully questioned about their immigration status during the recollection of this event.

[hobo]

I got tired just reading that last one... What kind of bourbon where you sippin'?

[RD]

Jim....you've been reading too much legalize.

[RocknRoll]

Man - you gotta watch drinking that Jack Beam Turkey!!!

[bIgPrO]