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[MsVTX1300]

 
Two old guys,one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.
 
The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
 
The 87 year old said, "Well, I eat Italian bread every day. It keeps your
energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
 
So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help.
 
He said, "Do you have any Italian bread "
 
She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"
 
He said, "I want 5 loaves."
 
She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves .... by the time you get to the 5th loaf,
it'll be hard."
 
He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody knows about this AppleSauce but me."

[Luckys Lover]

Two old guys meet in the park every day and play a game of chess.

One day, Henry doesn't show up. George thinks that maybe Henry had a Dr. appointment and forget to tell him.

One day runs into 2 days which run into a week which runs into a month.

George is really getting concerned when Henry shows up again and sits down to play chess.

"Henry, where have you been for the last month?"

"Jail"

"How did you end up in jail?"

"An 18 year old girl claimed I was the father of her child and took me to court for child support."

"And you went to jail to keep from paying?"

"Oh, no. I stood up in court and claimed that I was the father of her child."

"And then what happened?"

"The judge took one look at me and sent me to jail for 30 days for perjury."