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Author Topic: what do you tell a stranger that is dying?  (Read 2082 times)

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Demon

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what do you tell a stranger that is dying?
« on: February 13, 2009, 10:10:18 AM »
A few weeks ago my dad's dad died.  I didn't know him so I was indifferent to his passing, I did call my dad told him I was sorry his dad died and he said it was better that way, then he changed the subject and asked for some info about a diesel truck...  Any how, yesterday my mom called and she said that her dad is sick and he prpbably will not make it.  she asked me to call him but I don't think I can/want to.  I have only seen him once in my life... what do you tell a stranger that is dying???  is it wrong of me for not feeling anything???  I just don't know what to do...  I know that probably I wont call him.

 :-\
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jmdaniel

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Re: what do you tell a stranger that is dying?
« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2009, 10:16:46 AM »
Well, I would say you would be doing this for your mom, not for her dad. It sounds like it would mean a lot to her. Remember that funerals aren't for the dead, but for those still living.
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"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."
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Lucky

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Re: what do you tell a stranger that is dying?
« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2009, 10:17:03 AM »
Wayne's ex-father-in-law is on his death bed also.  Wayne's daughter is all upset about her grandfather passing and wants us there to visit and comfort.  I barely know the man since I have only been involved with Wayne's family for 5 years.  So I can totally relate to what you are asking.  I don't know what to say to the man, I have no feelings about it except for feeling sorry for his suffering as a fellow human being.  I don't think you are wrong for not feeling loss or sorrow in these situations.  These men are strangers to you, the same as somebody just walking down the street.  The fact that they are your biological grandfathers tho might mean that you should show some respect to them.  With your mother's dad it probably would be nice to call him, but as to what to say, I can't help you there...who knows maybe he would just enjoy talking about trucks also.
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"Lucky" Connie
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Gumbo

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Re: what do you tell a stranger that is dying?
« Reply #3 on: February 13, 2009, 10:22:41 AM »
What do you say to stranger that's dying?? That is a good question, it's not your fault that you did not have exposure to these strangers, and I can see how it would be hard to have feelings.
Not sure it would matter to them one way or the other either, but I would call and say sorry to hear you are not doing well and I also regret we did not ever get to know one another. Let go and go in peace cya on the other side.

You ask hard questions  :-\
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sherri

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Re: what do you tell a stranger that is dying?
« Reply #4 on: February 13, 2009, 10:29:20 AM »
I would say call him for your Mom. Has your Mom ever old you you have his eyes,nose, etc.? Tell him that or some other story your Mom told you about him. It is something to get the conversation rolling. It will either be a very short conversation or it may turn in to a longer one that you will be glad you called. You may learn some family history or some funny story about your mother when she was young.


sherri
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Demon

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Re: what do you tell a stranger that is dying?
« Reply #5 on: February 13, 2009, 10:55:38 AM »
thanks fo your replies...  I guess I have something to think about for the weekend... for those of you that don't know my family we are nothing alike... I guess I turn a different road a long time ago...  (my dad is very cool) either way doing this for my mom sounds like the way to go.  I'm not that close to my family, maybe is time I take the initiative and try to get to know them... I come from a big family, my parents, 4 or us (im the youngest of 4 guys) and i have a sister which I don't care for...  Sounds harsh but she is a Buck Rogers!!!  any how, I guess i better do something about it, I don't want my nephews to have to call a stranger (me) before I die to say that they were sorry we didn't get to know each other. 
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jmdaniel

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Re: what do you tell a stranger that is dying?
« Reply #6 on: February 13, 2009, 11:03:39 AM »
Do what you have/want to do, you'll feel better on the other side. Regarding family togetherness, my motto has always been if they wouldn't be a friend of yours if there wasn't blood, the existence of that blood doesn't make 'em so. The last time I talked to my old man was 1980, for reasons I won't go into here. That nonrelationship made me have to grow up fast, and not without a couple of missteps, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Sorry if that is a hijack...
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"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."
-- Unknown

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POGOGOLF

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Re: what do you tell a stranger that is dying?
« Reply #7 on: February 13, 2009, 12:52:10 PM »
Interesting to see the "on the other side" comments...there is but ONE way to get there, but those aren't my rules...I'm just saying. It ain't easy, just what we are all supposed to do as quoted by the MAIN Man.   :notworthy:
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Ride Safe!! Jeff in GA <>< I believe in Easter
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jmdaniel

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Re: what do you tell a stranger that is dying?
« Reply #8 on: February 13, 2009, 01:19:33 PM »
Jeff, my "on the other side" reference was meant to after Gabe decided what he was or wasn't going to do, and carried through on his decision, and was written like that because I suspect he will make the visit. I wasn't talking about Gabe passing on to the "other side". Especially after he said the other day that he may have a good line on tires and wheels for my car!   ;) 
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"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."
-- Unknown

2016 Honda F6B Deluxe
2007 Yamaha FJR1300A
2003 Honda VTX 1300

Demon

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Re: what do you tell a stranger that is dying?
« Reply #9 on: February 13, 2009, 01:54:55 PM »
I know I have a time share in Hell, so is all good!!!   >:D
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POGOGOLF

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Re: what do you tell a stranger that is dying?
« Reply #10 on: February 13, 2009, 02:44:25 PM »
Quote from: Demon on February 13, 2009, 01:54:55 PM
I know I have a time share in Hell, so is all good!!!   >:D
I am somewhat shocked to see your cavalier attitude about this eternally serious subject, best wishes to you.
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Ride Safe!! Jeff in GA <>< I believe in Easter
'02 1800 C model - 57,000 miles and climbing

Demon

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Re: what do you tell a stranger that is dying?
« Reply #11 on: February 13, 2009, 05:14:49 PM »
Quote from: POGOGOLF on February 13, 2009, 02:44:25 PM
Quote from: Demon on February 13, 2009, 01:54:55 PM
I know I have a time share in Hell, so is all good!!!   >:D
I am somewhat shocked to see your cavalier attitude about this eternally serious subject, best wishes to you.

I know were I stand and I'm ok with it...
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POGOGOLF

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Re: what do you tell a stranger that is dying?
« Reply #12 on: February 13, 2009, 05:54:49 PM »
Quote from: Demon on February 13, 2009, 05:14:49 PM
Quote from: POGOGOLF on February 13, 2009, 02:44:25 PM
Quote from: Demon on February 13, 2009, 01:54:55 PM
I know I have a time share in Hell, so is all good!!!   >:D
I am somewhat shocked to see your cavalier attitude about this eternally serious subject, best wishes to you.

I know were I stand and I'm ok with it...
Super....forever is a really long time.  :thumbup:
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Ride Safe!! Jeff in GA <>< I believe in Easter
'02 1800 C model - 57,000 miles and climbing

Demon

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Re: what do you tell a stranger that is dying?
« Reply #13 on: February 13, 2009, 06:58:10 PM »
lol
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dkjsr49

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Re: what do you tell a stranger that is dying?
« Reply #14 on: February 13, 2009, 07:48:05 PM »
I had a friend that passed from cancer not long ago, I told her that I'll see her when I get there. I asked her to please save a seat for me. She smiled and told me the seat would be right next to her. Two weeks later she was gone and I know she is saving my place.
I think I could say the same to a stranger.
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