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[XRaymondX]

My sister is crazy. 

My nephew does not respect her because she has problems with drugs and alcohol and has never really been a good mother.  This is causing problems between them.

She wants to send him to his father in Mississippi who he has never met, and has no desire to live with.

He is 12, is there anything that he can do?

[j1mmyj4m]

Unless someone else wants to try to "adopt" him (legal or parents just agree to it) what else can he do?  The best thing would be for his mom to wake up and get her life straight.  Most likely that won't happen unless SHE wants it to happen. 

If he finds someone else to stay with and the mom opposes it he can have the dad go through the lawyer rigmarole and point out that she's a terrible mom.  Most likely she can't afford to fight it due to her habit and the courts will assign him to the dad since I don't think age 12 can choose where to live (unless the dad is jacked up as well). 

In this scenario it would be best for his mom and dad to just let him choose where to live and whom to live with as long as it's someone much more fitting and able to care for him.

Far from a lawyer, but that's just my 2c.

[das212]

does the biological father even want him..... if so and unless a court has ordered otherwise then he has every right to the child regardless what the child wants or thinks... until a court oders otherwise, the child has no say whatsoever... my 2 cents... if i cared about the kid, i would be tryin to scope out how the bio dad is... if no better than mom, and no family member gonna step in, the child protective services....

[1savedman]

 I have no clue about where or with whom he needs to live but I can say this much. I am almost 7 years clean and sober and in return for this blessing I help out in any way I can with others that may need it and this is an all too common scenario. I suggest getting him into ala-teen or something similiar so he can talk and listen to others in his age range that have already lived through this. I have seen it work countless times. Good luck and God bless!

[skipppy75]

this might be harsh, but was thinking about doing it for my step son a couple of years ago who is now 14.
I was able to get him straightened out some so it was not necessary.
Also he found girls last years so this strightened him out because now he is trying to look preppy and it helped his grades also.



http://www.boot-camp-boot-camps.com/resources/United_States/TX

[TomVTX]

this might be harsh, but was thinking about doing it for my step son a couple of years ago who is now 14.
I was able to get him straightened out some so it was not necessary.
Also he found girls last years so this strightened him out because now he is trying to look preppy and it helped his grades also.



http://www.boot-camp-boot-camps.com/resources/United_States/TX

It's not the boy that has the problem, it's the mother.  There needs to be a boot camp for her.  I agree with some of the above posts that there might need to be another adult relative in the picture somewhere that can take this young man into their home until somebody can get their act straightened up.  After 30 years in education, believe me, I've seen way too many cases such as this.  Usually a grandparent, aunt, uncle, etc... have stepped in and tried to help.  Unless the mother has sole custody and the courts step in and do something, there's not going to be a lot done until relatives do something.  Again, my .02.

[XRaymondX]

I guess I should have put a little more history here.

My nephew has never even met his bio dad.  His mom didn't know which one it was for a long long time, probably until my nephew was about 7 or 8 yrs old.

Now, there are 3 of us, Me, my brother, and my mom that would keep him.

I'm telling you that she has gone crazy.  I think she is threatening him with this for 2 reasons:

1.  To scare him
2.  To scare us

Other than that, I can't think of a reason.

[Maw Maw]

If she wants to play the "scare" game the 3 of you should turn the tables on her.  Get that child out of that house and tell her there are 3 of you willing to combine the funds needed to have him placed with one of you.  Let her know you all are willing to take this matter to child protection and the police if needed.  Just my 2 cents worth.
Pat

[Gothicguy]

For a more detailed response, someone will need to speak directly with the parties to get specific answers, but in general...

1st.  No, there's not much he can do about this.  He is old enough that a court would allow him to speak to a judge, but he cannot institute papers on his own to start a court proceeding.

2nd.  If he was older, it is possible he could seek emancipation to be declared an adult early, but such is not usually the best choice for young boys and girls as from that point on they can do anything they want without supervision.

3rd.  It is possible that a relative could petition the court for possession.  It isn't an easy process, especially if the mom fights.  There are some requirements to have the standing to make such a motion.  The court will decide what is in the best interests of the child in awarding custody/possession.

My advice would be to find a family law attorney in the area where the child resides, and a family member whom the child has lived with, and who hopefully lives in the same county.  Meet with the attorney and see what advice they give you. 

Lastly, keep in mind that if the biological father is not aware of this situation, he may have no interest in the arrangement.  If there is nobody to receive the child, he cannot fly.  If he does go to the biological father's home, the biological father may be willing to relinquish possession to another family member.

In either event, the advice of an attorney who practices family law in the jurisdiction where the case would be heard is the best place to get the answers you seek.

(Obligatory Disclaimer: I am a licensed, practicing Texas attorney.  Any answers given in this statement cannot be relied upon as advice as I am unaware of all the details and circumstances of your particular case.  You are advised to find competent counsel in your jurisdiction for advice as to your particular facts and situation.)

[XRaymondX]

Thank you.

I knew we had some attorneys here, and I am thankful for your response.

I am also thankful for those of you who are not attorneys that offered your support and opinions.

I figured that we were stuck between a rock and a hard place, but I wanted to know if there was something that I was overlooking.

My last resort would be the custody battle.  It is my sister, although she has her problems, we still love her.  I am hoping that this is a bluff.  If he goes to Mississippi, I will have to consider other options with the father, and see what happens.

Thank you again for your advice,

Raymond

I thought about beating her to within an inch of her life and then, while she was in the hospital, letting my mom get custody, while she couldn't fight it.  But, then again, it's my sister.  Crap!

[VT-XS]

Raymond

One suggestion...

Make an appointment with CPS and try not to get a "zealot" that's all jacked up on emotion and their own self riteousness..  People like that tend to throw around bad facts. Look for someone serious and calm who seems to know the law. Ask their suggestion. Try not to get hot and don't do anything that can result in any sort of charges against you.

Find out what your options are, make a calculated decision to do what you feel right, and realize that sometimes life isn't fair. It's your sister's boy.

You're a good guy. Sorry you have to be dealing with something so lousy.

Martin