Texas X Riders
October 08, 2024, 12:49:34 AM
Welcome,
Guest
Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
1 Day
1 Week
1 Month
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Home
Forum
Help
Search
Login
Register
Texas X Riders
>
Main Area
>
General Discussion
>
The Telemarketer
« previous
next »
Pages: [
1
]
Print
Author
Topic: The Telemarketer (Read 1126 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
hipshot
Texas X Rider OverLord
Posts: 2795
New Caney, TX
The Telemarketer
«
on:
September 07, 2006, 05:26:35 PM »
I borrowed this off another site; thought y'all might enjoy it:
The family and I had just sat down to our evening meal when the phone rang. Figuring that only the job would call me at that time, I answered the phone, anticipating a callout.An unfamiliar voice asked, "Is this Karl Brummer?" Since my name doesn't sound anything like Karl Brummer, I asked who was calling. The voice replied that he was with the Rubber Band Powered Freezer Company, or something like that. I then asked him if he knew Karl Brummer personally, and why he was calling. Before the voice could reply I said, off to the side, "get some pictures of the body at various angles, and some good closeups of the blood spatter." I then turned back to the phone and informed the voice that he had entered a crime scene and could not hang up the phone; the call was being traced and he would be receiving a visit from one of our investigators shortly. I then questioned the voice in great detail about his name, address, employment, relationship with the dead guy, and where he had been for the past hour. I then told him that I didn't believe a word he was saying, and that we had located his office and the tactical team was on its way upstairs to take him into custody. I heard a panicked moan and the phone went dead.
As I returned to the table the wife asked why I had tears on my face. It took fifteen minutes to get the story out. My meal was cold, but it was GREAT!!
Logged
02 1800C
sherri
Texas X Rider OverLord
Posts: 2196
The Woodlands
Re: The Telemarketer
«
Reply #1 on:
September 07, 2006, 05:29:48 PM »
lol
sherri
Logged
If you ever see me with horns sticking out of my helmet
call an ambulance . . . . I’ve hit a deer
HeadGuess
Texas X Rider OverLord
Posts: 2591
Wills Point, Texas
Re: The Telemarketer
«
Reply #2 on:
September 07, 2006, 05:34:25 PM »
I'm going to try that one.
When I was a kid some girl called my house (wrong number) and asked for Paul. After about the third time she called I asked her name she gave it to me and I said he told me if you called he was with some other chick I don't remember any of their names, but I sure would have hated to be Paul the next time she seen him.
Logged
quietguy
Guest
Re: The Telemarketer
«
Reply #3 on:
September 07, 2006, 05:36:56 PM »
LOL@dead phone... cute
Logged
hipshot
Texas X Rider OverLord
Posts: 2795
New Caney, TX
Re: The Telemarketer
«
Reply #4 on:
April 22, 2007, 07:26:06 PM »
As I explained in another post, I'm spending a nostalgic afternoon (translation: can't go for a ride) sipping bourbon (on the sixth one; finally got a weekend I'm not on call, that's why I'm sipping heavily, and the heavy sipping is why I'm not riding), going through old threads. This one brought back memories of a phone call I received shortly after I moved to the Houston area, a few months after I got back from RVN (that'll date it for you old farts; if you're too young to know what RVN means, vote for Hitlery). I was actually in my bed asleep; I was working an 8 on/8 off on-call schedule for the railroad, and had to answer the phone if it rang.
It rang.
I answered.
A giggly, juvenile, female-sounding voice (back in those days I was not wise to the ways of the world, and I did not have an unpublished telephone number) asked if my refrigerator was running.
For some reason totally beyond my comprehension, I had an epiphany. I can offer no explanation for this epiphany, and it is certainly not consistent with my slow to no-witted character. Folks who know me will tell you that I think in reverse; the longer ago the event was the clearer my recollection (hint: see statute of limitations) . If it happened this week I ain't got a clue what you're talking about; I wasn't there and I don't own a gun in that caliber.
Anyway, the giggly little woofie (if any of you female members are offended by the word woofie, I'm sorry that you feel that way. While I acknowledge that the term woofie may certainly be interpreted as a derogatory reference to the female gender by politically correct and/or gender-specifically sensitive females, I reserve the right to utilize the word in the context in which I believe the word was originally conceived, which is the context in which this old fart is familiar) asked if my refrigerator was running. Naturally, that's when the epiphany occured.
I told her, "Yes."
She replied (hysterically laughing), "Ya better go catch it!!!"
I waited until the hysterics subsided, and said. "I can't; I lost both legs in Viet Nam."
Now I don't know if this woofie (sorry, ladies) actually believed me, or if a snappy and contrary reply just threw her (and I suppose that I should interject here that I'm not implying that females are incapable of discerning the truth, or are easily confused by the truth), but there was a long, pregnant silence (once again, ladies [or if there's a term that's politically more correct than ladies] I apologize if the terminology is not current) was in a chemically altered state of consciousness or not, but after the long, pregnant (again, I'm not mocking motherhood, but the words I chose, within the context I have chosen, have been universally accepted [until recently, anyway], as describing an apprehensive delay in response to an interrogatory statement. Anyway, after a several-second silence, she hung up.
The preceding story is true. No innocent animals or undocumented workers ( illegal aliens, to Texans) were harmed, killed, tortured, or unlawfully questioned about their immigration status during the recollection of this event.
Logged
02 1800C
hobo
Board
Texas X Rider OverLord
Posts: 1509
Cedar Creek Lake
Re: The Telemarketer
«
Reply #5 on:
April 22, 2007, 07:43:19 PM »
I got tired just reading that last one...
What kind of bourbon where you sippin'?
Logged
My 2003 1800C lives at the shores of Cedar Creek Lake in Mabank, Texas
Don't make me get nekkid!... Smell The Bumper... I got my cookies!
RD
Texas X Rider OverLord
Posts: 2119
Just another Joe in San Antonio
Re: The Telemarketer
«
Reply #6 on:
April 22, 2007, 08:04:49 PM »
Jim....you've been reading too much legalize.
Logged
Another proud owner of 2 1800's
04' Honda VTX 1800C
08' Honda GL1800 Goldwing
RocknRoll
Texas X Rider OverLord
Posts: 1636
Kingwood, TX
Re: The Telemarketer
«
Reply #7 on:
April 23, 2007, 05:44:49 PM »
Man - you gotta watch drinking that Jack Beam Turkey!!!
Logged
Wanna make God laugh? - Tell him your plans!
Wanna make God angry? - Treat Him with indifference!
bIgPrO
Texas X Rider OverLord
Posts: 2424
Houston, South Side
Re: The Telemarketer
«
Reply #8 on:
April 23, 2007, 05:50:21 PM »
Logged
Bigbear
NO X
07 Big Bear Chopper
300 rear tire, 44 degree rake,
S&S 100 Smooth,BBC Tornado Air Kit,V-Twin Pirate footpegs, 191/4 seat height
Print
Pages: [
1
]
« previous
next »
Texas X Riders
>
Main Area
>
General Discussion
>
The Telemarketer
SimplePortal 2.3.3 © 2008-2010, SimplePortal