MURPHY'S OTHER LAWS:
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something
right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those
who got there first.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he
will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
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Deep thoughts for those who take life too seriously....
1) Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2) A day without sunshine is like...night.
3) On the other hand, you have different fingers
4) 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5) 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6) Remember, half the people you know are below average.
7) He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
9) The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
in the trap.
10) Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
11) A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
12) Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
13) If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
14) How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
15) OK, so what's the speed of dark?
16) When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17) Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
18) Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
19) How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
20) Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
21) What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
22) I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23) Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
24) Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened
25) Life isn't like a box of chocolates.... it's more like a jar of
jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.